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Wieters admits he’s just been “screwing around”

By on March 1

After almost two years in the league as a member of the Baltimore Orioles, one-time top prospect Matt Wieters explained today that he’s been “basically totally screwing around” since being called up but guesses that he’s prepared to “actually start trying.”

“It’s come to my attention that some members of the media have labeled me as a bust. Now, ordinarily, I couldn’t care less about what those flaming rosin bags write, but you know, maybe it is time I actually started trying for reals,” he told reporters today.

Wieters revealed that after an incredible minor league season in which he hit .343, he “was totally bored as shit” and started trying to challenge himself by playing without sleeping for a week, or by closing his eyes during entire at bats.

After swiftly being promoted to the majors, Wieters said he was simply having too much fun to consider changing his behavior.

Nearly two years later, however, with all of the hopes of a once proud Orioles franchise depending on his development, Wieters said he realized he should probably stop phoning it in.

“You guys think I can’t hit .290 or 30 home runs?  Please. I can hit 45 home runs high on crack while wearing a Speedo. And I’m going to.”

“My name’s not Jay Gibbons,” Wieters went on to say, adding that he’s “going to miss that unfamiliar feeling of not destroying everyone on the field at any position on a nightly basis.”

“It was refreshing for a while, to understand why some people call this a humbling game,” Wieters said. “But I suppose that maybe it’s time to actually start trying.”

Wieters listed his goals for the upcoming 2011 season as 80–90 home runs, nothing less than an .800 average, and “at least several thousand RBIs.”

When contacted, Orioles president of baseball operations Andy MacPhail declined to comment, other than to say “Suck that Baseball Prospectus. Yeah.”

3 Responses to “Wieters admits he’s just been “screwing around””

  1. Paul O. says:

    Exactly how much fun did you have while writing this?

    The expectations have dwindled, therefore he will have a good year.
    Wieters: .294 BA, 31 doubles, 21 HR, 89 RBI, 1 stolen base. And I stress that 1 stolen base.

    Wieters was also heard saying, “They cloned Buster Posey from my genes. I’m still drowsy from the operation, so don’t hate on me hon. I’ll hit a home run for each appearance Charlie Sheen makes on TMZ. “

  2. Adam
    Adam says:

    Haha. I had a lot of fun writing it. I’m sure that was obvious. I like your projections. If Wieters could put together that kind of a year, I think people would probably cut him a little slack. With a lineup full of reliable veterans around him, I think the pressure on him will be greatly lessened this season, so I think the line you’ve come up with is attainable. Again, thanks for reading, dude.

  3. Paul O. says:

    I’m glad you agree that the new Sandwich of Talent should assist Mdog in attaining those figures. The only major issue I see for Mr. Wieters is that his swing is too long. Way too long, in fact, to consistently pull the ball. I see him as more of a Robin Yount, Paul Molitor, Cal Ripken type hitter. Opposite field, good contact, but strong enough to jack 20+, but probably not 30+ consistently unless he learns to change it up. Now Reimold has the swing I like, and Jones has the bat speed, but Wieters has the eye.

    Side note: Just before the season opens it would be nice if you selected 10+ categories, or stat columns and started a 2011 prediction thread for the Orioles players.

    March 15, 1998 I was getting a ride home from school from my father. I looked over at him and said If Mcguire continues with his recent HR/AB ratio he could hit 70 HR that season. The rest is history.

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